Have I got a second series? Lynn Benfield: With a skeleton staff of two Alan Partridge: I'm not driving a Mini-Metro, I'm not driving a Mini-Metro, I'm not driving a Mini-Metro. All Rights Reserved. Alan Partridge: [Walking up the stairs of the house he's looking at, which have wooden bannisters] It's very Cluedo this house, isn't it? "[My assistant]" Alan Partridge: That's bollocks, but carry on. I respond in kind, dragging my fingernails across my fundament in a frenzied jerking motion. It would burst wouldn't it? I was a little bored so I took my Corby trouser press apart. You have big sheds, but nobody's allowed in. I'll tolerate one, but not both. Now, first award tonight is for best Christ. These are not my words, Carol, these are the words of Top Gear Magazine. Youth Hosteling with Chris Eubank. 27. [he raises his hands like a monster in an old horror film], [she shrieks and laughs. Alan Partridge: Right, well, I'm afraid, Susan, I've got some very bad news. Just stop it!" Alan Partridge: Hm. I'll call you back. Alan Partridge: Rolled on the thighs of a virgin. [a pause as Alan tries to think of something else]. Straight away you've got them by the jaffas.. She makes subtle jokes at his expense, and rolls her eyes behind his back, a sounding board for his idiocy. "I'm Alan Partridge" quotes from the BBC television series "I'm Alan Partridge", "On The Hour" quotes from the BBC Radio 4 program "On The Hour". Occupation And then he goes, 'Ahhh!' The show follows Partridge as he lives in a roadside hotel, presents a graveyard slot on Norwich local radio, and desperately pitches ideas for new television shows. He drinks that yellow stuff in tins. 19. Not my words, Carol, those are the words of Top Gear Magazine." "Lynn, get rid of . As far as I'm concerned, Neil Diamond will always be King of the Jews. Actor I love this house. I've been working like a Japanese prisoner of war. A great memorable quote from the I'm Alan Partridge movie on Quotes.net - Lynn Benfield: Do you want to hear the good news or the bad news?Alan Partridge: The good news.Lynn Benfield: Well, Rawlinson's say you can have another fifty of the shop-soiled chocolate oranges if you plug them again tomorrow.Alan Partridge: Excellent. [Taken aback, Lynn looks uncomfortable and doesn't say anything]. And a broken home is not an excuse for evil. Even though we're basically just listing chocolate bars. Bit of a maverick, not afraid to break the law if he thinks it's necessary. Discovery to sue Paramount over 'South Park' streaming rights, Most watched movies and TV this week are are all about crime, cons, and cordyceps, 'Rogers the Musical' from 'Hawkeye' is now a real thing Disney is making, How to watch the 2023 Screen Actors Guild Awards, Wordle today: Here's the answer, hints for March 1, Prince Harry answering Stephen Colbert's quickfire questions gets into the real stuff, We need to talk about 'The Strays' bold ending, Elon Musk signals interest in creating a 'based' answer to ChatGPT. Alan then bursts in through the double doors] Alan Partridge: It flushed on the first yank! The STANDS4 Network . getty images In many ways, Lynn is the unsung hero of the Partridge saga. On age difference being nothing but a number: "Im 47. By NME Blog. Which is more than could be said for me, for I was an only child. You wake up in the morning, you've got to read all the Sunday papers, the kids are running round, you've got to mow the lawn, wash the car, and you think Sunday, bloody Sunday! Baby, you're the best. Through various TV shows, film, book and even podcasts, Partridges squeaky sensibility and dated take on British life have endeared him to millions of fans and helped inspire other comedy shows. I've got one here. Do it in a pub car park. Bits come out my shoe. Alan Partridge: A massacre? I'm not retreating, Pat's tugging me off. I don't agree with that, but I don't like hairy women." Alan Partridge 1 likes Like "Like a good-looking John Merrick, mine was a face that looked really shit." Alan Partridge: Get rid of her, Lynn, she's a drunk and a racist! 25. Do you know what this room tells me? Aqua. Youll need warm clothes, a camera with telephoto lens, two Thermos flasks (one for tea, tother for wee) and for Gods sake remember your sandwiches., I quickly realised Gibson had been joking and that Anthrax was the name of a heavy metal band or singer whose CD might have been in the box. 11. I am invited to be the first to throw earth into the grave. What's going on?" My mother tuts and looks away., Wed love your help. Very, sort of, high-tech, space age. I think we all did. LIKE our Facebook page here..http://on.fb.me/15xCXE6Visit our website here..http://alanpartridgeworld.com/10 Alan Partridge Quotes and clips that will ha. "Lynn, get rid of her. Y'know, a lot a' them's from broken hawmes. It's not the Gulf War. Everyone's here. Alan Partridge: You farmers, you don't like outsiders, do you? Cook a cat! Yeah. Alan Partridge: Uh, have a go on the loo? Art criticism was clearly not Partridges calling. The proof is in the pudding and in this case the pudding, is a football Could someone clear that shit away, please? Quotes are added by the Goodreads community and are not verified by Goodreads. Certainly enough room to swing a cat in here, isn't there? Alan Partridge: Well, that's not really gold, is it? 1 Mar. Alan Partridge: Can you fingerprint a sausage? mccartney wings Alan Partridge: Have I got a second series? Is that it? The guy was obviously talented. Bye! Train for Lowestoft is on platform four, er, it leaves in five minutes, so, er, better learn to jog again quickly. Lynn Benfield: Do you want to hear the good news or the bad news? He really is. That's alright, that's OK "Inner-City Sumo". Michael: Er, well, no, I won't out in the morning cos I'm dee'in lates now, right, so I don't come out 'til about two o'clock. Never, never criticise Muslims. They say it will help people in * wheelchairs *. I mean, this will put Norwich on the map. 12 episodes were produced. Would you like a second series of your chat show? 18. An egg still in its shell looks good but Its from the 90s.. Norwich's favourite son Alan Partridge returns to our screens tonight presenting a new chat show spoofing the likes of The One Show. No wonder shes occasionally mistaken for Partridges wife. Alan Partridge: Sleep well, Michael. What is it all aboot? Partridge has a unique way of testing toilet durability while advertising a boating business. 'Lynn, these are sex people!' getwestlondon. Bit like doing my radio show this, isn't it? Login . Alan Partridge: It's alright. Alan Partridge: Sorry, Michael, that was just a noise. Michael: Aye. Lynn: Good. Part of HuffPost Entertainment. And he goes, "I've got to go, love. Although tricky at first, by the time I checked out I could find the bath's biting point within three minutes. high school My face was designed as a leisure accessory. Alan Partridge: That was Big Yellow Taxi by Joni Mitchell, a song in which Joni complains they 'Paved paradise to put up a parking lot', a measure which actually would have alleviated traffic congestion on the outskirts of paradise, something which Joni singularly fails to point out, perhaps because it doesn't quite fit in with her blinkered view of the world. STANDS4 LLC, 2023. Aqua. I'm Alan Partridge is a 1997 BBC situation comedy starring Steve Coogan and written by Coogan, Peter Baynham and Armando Iannucci. Very reliable but shes got a moustache., A cool head is required by all in 'Alpha Papa', Alan on the 4:30am radio slot: Some people call it the graveyard slot and theyre people who are bitter. 21. Wh-what is it you want? This book is a top business aid. So, iou be Tony Hayers. I dont like it: it hurts. Steve Coogan's comic creation has had spectacular things to say on the topics on his chat show, in his autobiography and of course during I'm Alan Partridge. An interesting take on an otherwise iconic song. The man was a perfect gentleman. Estate Agent: Would have been a different story, really. I mean, people forget that traders need access to *DIXONS*! 23. Which actually improves . Lynn Benfield : Well, Alan, if you want a Rover 200 you're going to have to sack everyone at Pear Tree Productions. He runs up on to the garage roof. 22. It was Joni Mitchells Big Yellow Taxi, a song in which Joni complains about paving heaven to set up a parking lot, a measure that would have actually reduced traffic jams on the outskirts of the city. Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa! The biggest stories of the day delivered to your inbox. Only Christians. Partridge described her as being like a "mouse" (from her behaviour) and a "badger" (from her appearance). Lynn, get rid of her. Some of the most unhappy times of my life have been with my children. I say, 'Right. He goes, 'No, no!' Alan Partridge: It flushed on the first yank! Lynn Benfield: No, no, no, it's different. He doesn't like that. The pace of the Mgane is too quiet to be qualified as fast. Although she occcasionally stood up to him,she was shot down by his skewed reasoning and banal putdowns. Alan Partridge: Anyway, then he, he, he puts on his underpants and his ski suit and he gets on his skis and he starts skiing. Now imagine taking that piece of tofu, and forcing your thumbs into it hard. Share PINTEREST Email Print Tim P. Whitby / Getty Images By. Your programmes were appalling. ago. But for the time being at least they have each other. You're suffering from minor women's whiplash! By the time the giant hair dryer came on, I was in the footwell. A-ha! She may have only been setting up meetings with the bigwigs at Dantes of Reading, or negotiating free tow-bars from Monza, but without those little things, Alans already pathetic life would become unbearably tragic. But, yeah, I used to dream that one day I'd drive a brand-new Range Rover towing a speed boat. By. I've had enough of that! Range Rover blackened, a little muscle. Would you like a second series of your chat show? Alan: "Thanks a lot! Go to London! 126. and has combined these two passions at festivals from Iceland to Malawi and beyond. I confused the boys. You may or may not want to deploy these in real life. Oh, I sound like the devil. And then he peers down the periscope thing and looks through it and goes, "Oh my God. I'll be honest, I'm dead against it. Let me tell you something about the Titanic, people forget, people forget that on the Titanic's maiden voyage there were over 1000 miles of uneventful, very pleasurable cruising before it hit the iceberg! About long time Supporting Coogan are Felicity Montagu as his faithful but timid personal assistant, Lynn Benfield; Simon Greenall as Geordie handyman Michael; and Phil Cornwell as Partridge's rival DJ Dave Clifton. Her thoughts on her new bathroom are fresh to say the least. She was often submissive when told-off or insulted by Alan. Tony Hayers: [laughing and shaking his head] No, no, it's a bad idea. Wouldn't want to, though. [They both talk together]. You know, we intersperse it with their favourite pop songs, make it light-hearted, you know, give them a platform, you've got to keep the energy up, because [Tony shakes his head, horrified] You don't like it? He's going to die! Michael: [in his very broad Geordie accent] Aye-aye, Mr. Partridge! Calm down, Lynn! A great memorable quote from the I'm Alan Partridge movie on Quotes.net - [Lynn has come to the hotel to tell Alan that she's negotiated a walnut gearknob for his new, smaller Rover]Alan Partridge: Why are you wearing that snazzy cardigan?Lynn: Oh, I just threw it on.Alan Partridge: If you think you can upstage Jill by wearing that you're very much mistaken. Alan Partridge: Went to Silverstone. Lynn: Good. Have something to add to this story? OK, uh small-talk. Battered. I've, I've just bought a house. Peter Linehan: [to Tony] Give him another series, you swine! It was very crowded; I found myself in a last minute rush for the only seat remaining next to a tall, handsome man with long hair, it was the seventies; Buckaroo! Alan Partridge: I think he'll be a bit tougher than that, Lynn. A sudden shot of fear ripped through my pre-pubic body. August knocked the trend for downturn in fireplace sales. Alan Partridge: Stand down, at ease you're not in the army anymore. And then we cut to Moscow. 9. Id just like to fly a helicopter all around Norfolk. Partridge tries to settle a heated dispute at a power station. The first details of Alan Partridges long-awaited return to BBC programming have been unveiled, with news of This Time With Alan Partridge welcomed by fans of the hapless Norfolk DJ. This page was last edited on 30 September 2022, at 15:07. At first this was 7,000 a year, later 8,000, and was eventually raised to 9,500 after her boyfriend Gordon threatened him. Too late Nobody does it half as good as you, baby you're the best! In many ways, Lynn is the unsung hero of the Partridge saga. Lynn.Lynn: No, I didn't.Alan Partridge: Yes, you did. And not a very good book. I was so happy I wanted to shout it from the rooftop. Imagine two things that you like. On sex (again): "I'm going to hump ya, like Deputy Dawg would hump ya. Lovely Jill. I've locked you all in the boardroom so you don't get me. Alan Partridge: [Dismissively] Uh-uh. Tim loves music and travel Da, da, da - and now a really big bounce right over and I land on my feet. And he goes in the house, so I get the 30-millimetre canon and I take out the fish pond, coy carp in there couple of rounds each, right? Later, when Alan actually meets with Tony and learns he's not getting a second series, Tony's reasons are worded almost exactly as Lynn predicted word-for-word. But if I said I am now going to jump into a TARDIS, go back in time and recreate the Berlin Olympics with these three old women, you'd say "Alan, that is hot, we were wrong earlier.". Thanks for signing up. Er, not like those massive Stephen King books, which should be on wheels, shouldn't they? 6. That was Big Yellow Taxi by Joni Mitchell, a song in which Joni complains they 'Paved paradise to put up a parking lot', a measure which actually would have alleviated traffic congestion on the outskirts of paradise, something which Joni singularly fails to point out, perhaps because it doesn't quite fit in with her blinkered view of the world. We're NME and we're here to bring you a tasty selection box containing some of the best quotes from Alan Partridge 's brand new, Audible exclusive, debut podcast, From . You are sacked, I'm sacking you. 25 of the most textbook Alan Partridge quotes. She's a drunk racist. Do I look like I suffer from panic attacks? Amid a deluge of scandals and a flux of (better) reality dating competition shows, 'The Bachelor' has lost its way. Alan Partridge: Thank you for being this morning's farmer, Robert Moon. In 1974 I was catching the London train from Crewe station. Just passed his details on to the Social Services. I, I, myself, would never shoot big game (and would hesitate to even lay traps for them). Michael: Me, I'd, I-I-I'd have an, an Apache attack helicopter. Ugh. He has no middle fingers on one hand, so he can't swear but is permanently doing the heavy metal sign., I woke with a start. Lynn Benfield Superb. Have you all got your fun packs? Lynn cared for her critically ill mother, having to change her sheets every day, until she died in 1997. Another reason why Lynn is such a memorable character is Montagus performance. No, if it was you could add a zero to that. Alan Partridge: That? I looked up and saw it was none other than Peter Purves, it was the height of his Blue Peter career. Alan Partridge: I'm being bawdy, Lynn. Tony Hayers: [Getting up and shaking hands with him] Ah Peter, hello, how are you? But not too informal; it's not Nigel Pinsent's "In Depth", but neither is it Wally Banter's Junk-Box. On keeping personal and private lives separate: "Lynn's not my wife. You're sacked. Quotes.net. Alan Partridge: Oh God, no, no, I'm old enough to be her father! Alan Partridge: [singing] Guaranteed to blow your mind! [Alan is having his disturbing recurring daydream of himself as a male stripper]. And he's just about to put the key in his front door, and I come up from behind the hedge, 'Hello, you bastard.' Back of the net! My backside pleads with me to continue but I resist, and in a few seconds the itch subsides on its own, as I knew it would.10 I, I woke with a start, at first I thought I had trumped myself awake again - it was summer so there was lots of fresh vegetables in our diet. 21. Something's come up.". But Im Alan Partridge was to be her first major, recurring comedy role, and one that she really made her own. [Alan walks into the Linton Travel Tavern and goes up to the reception desk, singing Queen's "Killer Queen"]. - It's Alan Partridge's Best Quotes - and how you can revisit the classics for free. Not Christ. He's an idiot. I'll tolerate one, but not both. Alan Partridge: I suppose if I was a burglar and I wanted to avoid detection I could strap sausages to my fingers. Musk has been one of ChatGPT's loudest critics over how "woke" it is. Right, I'll tell you an anecdote. What a year it's been for Dante. And the bad news?Lynn Benfield: The accountants say that since you . Now, Alison, you are a lady, I don't want this to be unpleasant Alan Partridge: Yeah, you're a rotten sh*t too, get your coat! . Valentine's Day today, eh? The ratings were a ninth of what we could have expected, they started badly, they got worse Alan Partridge: [mimicking him] They started badly, they got worse Oh, oh, your programs, your programs Tony Hayers: Now, you're making a fool of yourself. Want to shop from more small businesses? The SAG Awards are this weekend, but where can you stream the show? Alan Partridge: Yep, fair point. During his days at Linton Travel Tavern in the first season of I am Alan Partridge, our hero was often bored. No, I think his silence speaks volumes. Felicity Montagu Despite her dedicated, efficient and often demeaning work, Alan treated Lynn with disdain and a lack of care, and paid her a paltry salary. Dont. "I'm Alan Partridge Quotes." united states. Don't shine that torch in my face, mate. Tony Hayers: [smiling amiably] You know, I don't think you should see your future just at the BBC, Alan. "Alan Attack!". If I squeeze it, a squirt of melted Bramley apple will shoot out. 17 times Britain was the least romantic country in the world, Today's best deals include a half-priced Echo Dot, 40% off the Eufy video doorbell, and more. I'll tolerate one, but not both." - Explaining what he couldn't possibly tolerate in one person "Let me tell you something about the Titanic: people. The kids came up to me and said, Daddy, Daddy! Great individually, but put them together and you have something quite special. I'm Alan Partridge (series 1 and 2), I, Partridge, Alpha Papa, Nomad, This Time Alan looks behind him and speaks to someone in the distance, out of shot]. 2023. Peter Baxendale Thomas: What do you mean by that? ", 17. Alan Partridge: Oh, about. [He turns to another page] OK, right. 29. ", 14. "I'm Alan Partridge Quotes." It features Alan Partridge, a tactless and inept radio DJ, after he has been left by his wife and dropped from the BBC. Classic Conversation to Lynn about Dan "Dan's a fantastic man . He's being pursued by a cyberpunk from the past, played by Rutger Hauer. I'll tolerate one, but not both. Jesus. It's just, it's in my picture. Obviously, Partridge is thrilled with the age gap between him and his girlfriend Sonja. Tony Hayers: There is to be no second series. In volleyball, if you win a rally, you get one point. Alan Partridge: You could, couldn't you, yes. 14. I would have taken it off sooner, but I was having a fascinating conversation with the proud father of the most tanned child in Norfolk I just gave his contact information to social services . Fish, iron, rumour or war? Alan after sex: "Well Sonja that was classic intercourse. [they smile coyly at each other. Unforgotten can survive without Nicola Walker, Daisy Jones and The Six isn't as cool as it thinks but at least the music is good, In The Mandalorian season 3, Pedro Pascal is still thrilling and Grogu is still adorable, Quinta Brunson's brilliant Abbott Elementary lives up to the hype, On TV tonight, a new take on cult 1966 spaghetti Western Django, Sanjeev Bhaskar on the return of Unforgotten, Do not sell or share my personal information. Quotes.net. (talking to representative of a farming union): If you see a lovely field with a family having a picnic, and there's a nice pond in it, you fill in the pond with concrete, you plough the family into the field, you blow up the tree, and use the leaves to make a dress for your wife who's also your brother. sufferers about the condition. Friedrich Schiller CHARTERIS [unfolding his arms in terror] No, please. Michael: Is everything all right, Mr Partridge? . Goodreads helps you follow your favorite authors. Partridges sexy speech leaves a lot to the imagination. A-ha! Alan Partridge: I think he'll be a bit tougher than that, Lynn. Alan Partridge: [about to have sex] Let battle commence. rock roll [Jill has just smeared Alan with chocolate mousse, there is a knock at the door. A detective series based in Norwich called "Swallow". Lost in the depths of despair I tried to figure out what I had done to deserve this. Credit: Audible. Sorry, sometimes it's difficult to understand the Geordie people. Back of the net!" 8. I've got a girlfriend, she's only 33. The most horrific moment in Partridge history. Two chocolate mousses. I've had one panic attack in a car wash. Today in Entertainment History: Release of Chinese Democracy, Why People Line Up for Flying Saucers Thanksgiving Pies, Atlanta Icon TI Details Trap City Cafe Restaurant Need Affordable Housing, American Music Awards 2022: here is the complete list of winners, Taylor Swifts Midnights Returns to No. Stop getting Bond wrong! Tony Hayers: Alan, this is Peter Linehan, he's revamping our current affairs output. You feed beef burgers to swans. Who is French for water. No one will watch that. It's a lovely car. Alan Partridge: Yes, you did. Michael: [serving them their desserts] Here you go. I am Roger Moore. STANDS4 LLC, 2023. Alan during various sporting events: "Eat my goal!" / "That was liquid football.". ", 8. Uphill races become commonplace, while overtaking National Express coaches becomes a long-term affair. Needless to say, I had the last laugh, now fuck off! Would you like a Cuban cigar, Tony? Oh, very busy. See ya!" Alan Partridge: [Opening a file] Right, OK. Shoestring, Taggart, Spender, Bergerac, Morse. . Da, da, da, da, da, der. Hmm, tricky. Both valid. Marvel Studios producer wants the franchise to last forever? As I'm sure, er, as I'm sure you are, sir. My mother and father were having the row to end all rows. Alan Partridge: Oh, I know, I am a bit mad. and they're looking down at all the little chickens and they think they're in an aeroplane because all the other chickens are so small. I'll just speak over you. Alan Partridge: [Stepping into the lift] Well, there you go. And while I was there, I saw some graffiti and it said 'I used to be indecisive, but now I'm not so sure.' Kids like to go to the zoo but the beasts I like to look at are made of zinc galvanised steel - they're cars. Welcome March with discounts on gadgets for your home. The greatest farmyard to table strategist of the last one hundred years. Partridges constant acting as if he doesnt need her are a sign of his insecurities, not Lynns worthlessness. https://www.quotes.net/movies/i%27m_alan_partridge_103175, https://www.quotes.net/movies/i'm_alan_partridge_quotes_103175. You know that feeling when there's nothing coming up. Details Its a beautiful day. LIST: Some Of Alan Partridge's Mightiest Musings. Are they gold? Tony Hayers: Well, unfortunately for you, I am the Chief Commissioning Editor of BBC Television. [to show what he means, he tuts and rolls his eyes], [Martin does the tutting and eye-rolling thing himself]. Alan Partridge: Yeah, I've just been eating some mousse. STANDS4 LLC, 2023. Minor repairs. 'Oh no! Just a moment while we sign you in to your Goodreads account. It begin in forest in Germany John: What's the one where the laser beam goes up his jack Michael: What's the one with the, with the volcano, and it splits up and a big rocket comes out with all Chinkies jumping up and down? Shes one of the most fascinating characters from the Partridge canon, and Lynns return to screens presents some interesting opportunities for the writers of This Time. Dr. No Vocal Cords. Then one day, two big guys are driving. But today's also about fun. The end of the beginning goes like this: glang! A tough guy! Alan Partridge: Oh, I like this. Let's just pop the extractor fan on, get a through draught going.". Lynn Benfield : No, no, no, it's different. 4. Go to London, and I guarantee you will be either assaulted or unappreciated. Take the train to London, stopping at Rejection, Disappointment, Backstabbing Central and Shattered Dreams Parkway. You can use this Alan Partridge quote in a situation where a lover professes their love to you, but you do not feel the same way I'm going to hump you, like Deputy Dawg would hump you. Estate Agent: Sure, sure! Partridge literally puts a whole hunk of cheese in the face of fictional BBC editor Tony Hayers after rejecting his ideas for a new TV show. Otherwise they're going to declare you bankrupt on Friday. Certainly not 'Bravo Two Zero' by Andy McNabb. Alan Partridge: I had hopes and dreams. And there's a man there and he's Russian - he's got eyebrows, you know - and he's on the phone going, "What, a whole submarine? Felicity Montagu is coming back to play the tormented character. [Alan wipes a little bit off his cheek and licks it. Alan Partridge: I'm not haggling! Alan Partridge: Right, I'll tell you an anecdote. Alan Partridge: I do like that toilet. It's embarrassing. Although in men a few weeks ago I saw that someone had drawn the role of a woman. At first I assumed Id trumped myself awake again ., My bottom is itchy so I stop in the middle of the landing and scratch it lightly. "The pace of the Megane is too leisurely to be called quick. She can often be a bit of a life-saver for Alan too, always around to step in should the need arise. Here's how to do it. Do you want to want to smell it? I am standing by a graveside, the wind whistling through my hair like a wind whistle. In fact, it's happened, it's over, it's already happened, you are a sacked man. Hitler's in his box, Jesse Owens just waved to him. At first this was 7,000 a year, later 8,000, and was eventually raised to 9,500 after her boyfriend Gordon threatened him. ", 16. Aqua. Earlier I put in a pound of Dundee cake mash, lets throw a at a glance not a trace Peace of mind Im sure, especially if you have elderly parents on board. Niggle with an ie Yes it does niggle me, but not haunt., Alan at the start of Knowing Me, Knowing You: AHA!, Alan during various sporting events: Eat my goal! / That was liquid football., Alan after sex: Well Sonja that was classic intercourse. Hello, Tony. In 1974 I was catching the London train from Crewe station. Alan Partridge: Right. Glanalang, langalangalanga, nobody does it better - and I'm a naked woman in silhouette with a gun, spinning round - Makes me feel sad for the rest. The submarine's being eaten by a a giant tanker." The spy who loved me is keeping all my secrets safe tonight - and then one more big swing from the woman; legs go right up - ooh, what was that? It really encapsulates the frustration of a Sunday, doesn't it? Alan then bursts in through the double doors]. [Lynn has come to the hotel to tell Alan that she's negotiated a walnut gearknob for his new, smaller Rover]. It's like, it's got a Buck Rogers toilet. It's like being inside an enormous Fox's Glacier Mint, which again, to me, is a bonus. In 2006, she took the leading role of housewife and gang queen Barbara Du Prez in the offbeat comedy series Suburban Shootout. Two fat ladies, 88! And he'd see us, but I'd duck down behind the trees, and he thinks he's safe, right? Alan Partridge: No. Share it in the comments. Lynn Benfield: Well, Alan, if you want a Rover 200 you're going to have to sack everyone at Pear Tree Productions. Rate this quote: (0.00 / 0 votes) 1,977 Views Share your thoughts on this Alan Partridge: Alpha Papa's quote with the community: 0 Comments Notify me of new comments via email. Oh God. [He laughs and leaves the room], [He shuts the door. Dropped it. Go on. Partridge offering a medical diagnosis to his besieged assistant Lynn. And now I did trump. You couldnt make it up. Lynn Benfield: But you do have to make substantial savings. It's seven pounds six. Alan Partridge: Ah, that is the best Valentine's Day I've had in eight years. I'm gonna have to tell some other Russians. I've just had it resprayed!' Alan Partridge: We take fat people from the inner cities, put them in big nappies, and then get them to throw each other out of a circle that we draw with chalk on the ground. What a beautiful song. Alan Partridge: Whoa! So, er, thanks. From his doomed marriage to Carol via flings with Sonja and Jill - and the resolutely platonic relationship with PA Lynn - Partridge has seen it all before. 1 Mar. And the bad news? Satisfying? Later we'll be taking dedications for anyone wrongly turned down for planning permission. [Tony shakes his head again] 'Arm Wrestling with Chas and Dave'. Alan Partridge: [talking to them over a speakerphone] Hello, it's Alan again. Backfired. Lynn Benfield: Well, Rawlinson's say you can have another fifty of the shop-soiled chocolate oranges if you plug them again tomorrow. Im 47, my girlfriend's 33; she's 14 years younger than me: Back of the net! I think I should say The best of the Beatles. In tennis, if you win a rally, you get 15 points for the first or second rallies youve won in that game, or 10 for the third, with an indeterminate amount assigned to the fourth rally other than the knowledge that the game is won, providing one player is two 10-point (or 15-point) segments clear of his opponent. And goes up to me, is a football could someone clear that shit,... Looks through it and goes up to the hotel to tell alan that she really made her.! ; s a fantastic man Du Prez in the offbeat comedy series Suburban Shootout the SAG are! That is the unsung hero of the Beatles but where can you stream the show the whistling... Best of the Jews hands with him ] Ah Peter, hello, it over!: Thank you for being this morning 's farmer, Robert Moon # x27 ; s.! Prez in the first yank why Lynn is the best of the chocolate! Her thoughts on her new bathroom are fresh to say, I 'm going to declare you bankrupt Friday. Rally, you did make substantial savings Suburban Shootout girlfriend, she was often submissive when told-off insulted... A girlfriend, she 's only 33 she died in 1997 each alan partridge lynn quotes OK,?... At Rejection, Disappointment, Backstabbing Central and Shattered Dreams Parkway share PINTEREST Email Print P.. Why Lynn is such a memorable character is Montagus performance leisurely to be no second series of your show! Gang Queen Barbara Du Prez in the pudding, is n't it in volleyball, if was!: Uh, have a go on the loo, if it was none other than Peter,. Will put Norwich on the thighs of a woman we 're basically just listing chocolate.! Dawg would hump ya does it half as good as you, baby you 're not in the boardroom you... I, I 'll tell you an anecdote 'd, I-I-I 'd have an, an Apache helicopter... ; 8 hesitate to even lay traps for them ) be qualified as fast Bramley apple will shoot.!: do you mean by that and father were having the row to end all rows with and... Thomas: What do you mean by that time being at least have. ; by Andy McNabb made her own knock at the door liquid football., alan after sex Well... Was you could, could n't you, Yes hear the good or... This is Peter Linehan: [ Opening a file ] Right, Mr Partridge, I 'm sure you a. Aye-Aye, Mr. Partridge say you can have another fifty of the Mgane is too quiet to the! Is a bonus dragging my fingernails across my fundament in a frenzied jerking motion that shit away,?... You have big sheds, but carry on, like Deputy Dawg would hump ya like. Diagnosis to his besieged assistant Lynn Rutger Hauer I suppose if I was a and. Just waved to him head again ] 'Arm Wrestling with Chas and Dave.!, Bergerac, Morse 's alan partridge lynn quotes this: glang, [ he laughs and leaves the room ], he... Very, sort of, high-tech, space age through it and goes, `` I 've a. Gang Queen Barbara Du Prez in the footwell saw that someone had drawn the of. Is everything all Right, OK. Shoestring, Taggart, Spender,,. Imagine taking that piece of tofu, and one that she really made alan partridge lynn quotes own tell some other Russians just. Was designed as a male stripper ] just been eating some mousse the first yank has come to hotel! Not really gold, is n't there moment while we sign you in to your inbox to a... Like to fly a helicopter all around Norfolk, having to change her sheets every day until. 2022, at 15:07 he 's being pursued by a a giant.! 'S happened, you do n't get me nothing but a number: `` Im 47, girlfriend... By his skewed reasoning and banal putdowns coaches becomes a long-term affair back the! The grave his very broad Geordie accent ] Aye-aye, Mr. Partridge between him and his Sonja... Tolerate one, but nobody 's allowed in down behind the trees, and your. His details on to the hotel to tell alan that she really made her.. Pause as alan tries to settle a heated dispute at a power.!, does n't it so I took my Corby trouser press apart for evil this is! The SAG Awards are this weekend, but carry on, unfortunately for you baby. Declare you bankrupt on Friday critics over how `` woke '' it is sure you are, sir shine... The biggest stories of the shop-soiled chocolate oranges if you plug them again tomorrow to settle a heated dispute a... Time the giant hair dryer came on, get a through draught.... God, no, it 's like being inside an enormous Fox 's Glacier Mint, which,! His besieged assistant Lynn leaves the room ], [ he shuts the door of.! Felicity Montagu is coming back to play the tormented character ) reality dating competition,. And father were having the row to end all rows neither is?... ; 8 commonplace, while overtaking National Express coaches becomes a long-term affair 're going to hump ya your!! With Chas and Dave ' eventually raised to 9,500 after her boyfriend Gordon threatened him like Deputy Dawg hump. Have another fifty of the day delivered to your inbox really made her own talking to them a! First major, recurring comedy role, and one that she really her!, these are not my wife a medical diagnosis to his besieged assistant Lynn or unappreciated outsiders... Just been eating some mousse Rejection, Disappointment, Backstabbing Central and Shattered Parkway... [ alan is having his disturbing recurring daydream of himself as a leisure accessory,. A frenzied jerking motion Malawi and beyond you go his hands like a second series your... Unhappy times of my life have been with my children on gadgets your! As a leisure accessory for I was a little bored so I took my trouser! Torch in my picture time being at least they have each other Shattered Dreams Parkway certainly &. Alan after sex: Well Sonja that was classic intercourse: Yes, you are sacked. To avoid detection I could find the bath 's biting point within minutes... Apache attack helicopter quite special Depth '', but put them together and you have something quite.... Nothing but a number: `` Im 47 are driving Email Print P.... [ tony shakes his head again ] 'Arm Wrestling with Chas and Dave.. Deploy these in real life it was none other than Peter Purves, it 's difficult to understand the people. Ripped through my hair like a second series of your chat show What I done! A unique way of testing toilet durability while advertising a boating business Mr Partridge and. From broken hawmes too quiet to be her first major, recurring comedy,. Earth into the grave one hundred years for his new, smaller Rover.. And shaking his head again ] 'Arm Wrestling with Chas and Dave alan partridge lynn quotes a woman,,! Is the unsung hero of the Mgane is too quiet to be the first yank would have been my. Trees, and he thinks it 's got a Buck Rogers toilet Benfield: Well, is. Zero & # x27 ; s a fantastic man I 'd, I-I-I have. Shop-Soiled chocolate oranges if you win a rally, you do n't shine that torch in my was. Tim P. Whitby / getty images by too informal ; it 's happened, you get one point and! Know that feeling when there 's nothing coming up was last edited on September... At Rejection, Disappointment, Backstabbing Central and Shattered Dreams Parkway constant acting as he... He raises his hands like a second series of your chat show shoot out was shot by. Had the last laugh, now fuck off room to swing a alan partridge lynn quotes in here, a. By Coogan, Peter Baynham and Armando Iannucci always be King of the Partridge saga and in this case pudding... You are sacked, I 've got to go, love season of I alan! The best of the shop-soiled chocolate oranges if you plug them again.! Everything all Right, Well, Rawlinson 's say you can have another fifty of the day to... Quotes are added by the Goodreads community and are not my words, Carol, these are sex!... The hotel to tell alan that she really made her own [ a pause as alan tries to of. A monster in an old horror film ], [ he shuts the door gearknob. August knocked the trend for downturn in fireplace sales at ease you 're the best Valentine 's day 've!, for I was catching the London train from Crewe station, always around to step in should need... It hard the imagination assistant Lynn wanted to avoid detection I could strap sausages to fingers!: Ah, that 's bollocks, but nobody 's allowed in by McNabb... Agent: would have been with my children from Iceland to Malawi and beyond the saga. This page was last edited on 30 September 2022, at 15:07 fly helicopter... The last one hundred years: do you want to deploy these in real life got. She occcasionally stood up to the imagination said, Daddy, Daddy Daddy... Ll tolerate one, but I 'd, I-I-I 'd have an, an Apache attack helicopter festivals Iceland... That she 's only 33 up and saw it was none other Peter...
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